How To Make A Terrible Website
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if everyone was able to make their own television show and have it broadcast on national television? We would be seeing some really terrible stuff that has no business being on TV. The combination of Aunt Gladis’s quilt hour and Grandpa Bill’s guide to overnight talk radio would just be too much!
There would be a lot of just really bad stuff. The internet does not have the fortune of being exclusive to people with a lot of money and talent. Anyone can make a website, and there are some that are just very bad. Hopefully you won’t make these mistakes and make a terrible website.
First and foremost, you have to have some kind of music playing on your website. Make sure that it’s embedded and there’s no clear way to turn off the music, that way they won’t accidentally turn it off and not get to enjoy the wonderful tune that you picked out for them to hear each and every time they visit your website.
Secondly, colors don’t matter. Just pick whatever your favorite colors are, or just pick some that are convenient. You really don’t have to have any sort of consistency of colors and design on your website, chances are a lot of your visitors are blind anyway!
Make sure you don’t have any unique content. Nobody wants to see or know about anything different on the internet, because if somebody wanted to hear about it, it would already be there. Just copy someone else’s MySpace profile and call it good for content. It’s best just to take stuff from other websites, they probably don’t care anyway, and that way you don’t have to come up with anything on your own. Plagiarism is the key!
Make sure you have the biggest font imaginable for all of your text. There are a lot of people out there without good vision, and if you make your font big, they will be able to see it better! Your visitors will then also know that you are trying to make a point and will listen, because if it’s on the internet, it MUST be important!
Everyone loves getting the weekly circulars from Wal-Mart and Home Depot in the mail every single week, and a popup window is really an ‘internet circular’! Sign up with a pop-up providing company, but don’t ever ask for any money, having pop-ups on your website is doing a service for your listeners, it’s like giving them a FREE copy of the Wal-Mart ad every time they go to your website, and who wouldn’t want that?! Oh, and if you put your website on one of the free hosts, they will often provide your readers with EXTRA advertisements, and who doesn’t want more of them?!
Finally, and I cannot stress this enough, Be absolutely sure to have animated gifs. These animated gifs will add a lot of color and style to your website, and let people know that your website has a lot more energy and is ten times colored because the pictures are moving!
Hopefully you will be able to make use of these website making tips to make your own very terrible awesome website!